THE FUN FACTOR IN ENGINEERING-MY BAKWAAS GANG

PART-2




ADVENTURES WITH BAKWAAS GANG!!!!



At K.J Somaiya College besides having regular lectures ,the students have to endure the weekly tests, long practicals and heavy duty journal completions.
.
We have maged to handle this AATYACHAR in our own ways and have successfully done so for the last 3 years…..Yeah..of course ..we have had our disappointments and disasters in the process of getting the formula right, but all said and done we have managed fine so far.

The golden rule which we dutifully follow at BAKWAAS

“TO BEAT THE SYSTEM…YOU HAVE TO CHEAT THE SYSTEM”


STATUTORY WARNING:
1) Use the CHEAT CODES at your own risk
2) Consequences of using the Cheat Codes is disastrous to future Career.It may make you lazy ,unambitious and “i-dun-give-a-damn” type of person ,ultimately making you overconfident and ruining your life.

NYWAYS...Lets get on with the Bakwaas Cheat Codes for making your journey in engineering as eventful and as enjoyable as ours…
Chao!!




SYSTEM TORTURE 1: TESTS
BAKWAAS CHEAT CODE :COPYING


At Somaiya they have invented a genious way of torturing students.Besides final exams we have weekly tests.And if this was not enough we have two tests for every subject .

Normal method:(followed by the SCHOLAR category):
Study hard for entire previous week. Then study the entire night before the test. Then come to college and learn the difficult part of the portion and give the test.

OUR METHOD:

1) Method 1:
Copy from the person sitting exactly in front or exactly behind you during the test.
If you are Priyank, you can take help from any student sitting anywhere in the class.

This method is time tried and tested.But on some occasions it has failed.
And failed miserably.

Eg:
Situation:
During one of the term tests 3 members of bakwaas gang were sitting as positions indicated
Nishit-----Ameya---n--ME.

Ameya had given his answer sheets to both nishit and me.

The supervisor was aware of some suspicious movement on these benches and went over to keep an eye on them.
Seeing this, Nishit had a idiotically brilliant idea.He couldn’t copy in front of the supervisor,so he put ameyas sheet behind his own and started copying only the left hand side of the answer .
The supervisor at once saw what was going on; he grabbed the paper from nishit
And said
“Kiska paper hai yeh”
Nishit “ Ma’am Ameyas”

Ameya was already terrified and frightened.
He blurted”.aiiin???par..par..mera paper tere pass kaise aaya..”
The whole class started laughing.
Waah,by sum unknown miracle ameyas paper had simply slipped on to nishits bench..lol
Seeing that the situation was going out of control nishit tried to bribe the supervisor.
Nishit :”ma’am ,cut my attendance…but give my paper”
But in vain …he was robbed of his paper.

Now ameya had another tension.One of his sheet was with me.So he started pinching me to give his sheet back to him..
And i said:
“ Arre bhaggu,maine daal diya tera sheet tere pass..dekh neeche pada hoga..”
So after all this drama ameyas 2nd answer sheet was in his desk while he was worried it was with me..Phew…wat comedy of errors.
They got of the soup safe and sound but new comers may take a note of this situation .


2) Method 2:
Another loop hole in K.J is that teachers (on extreme pursuation by students) give Question Banks comprising of 10 important questions out of which 5 will definitely come for the exam.Morover due to lack of answer sheets we had to use our own full scape sheets as supplements for the test.

So the Bakwaas minds started to work on cracking this situation as well.
This requires a bit of hard work but works wonderfully and yu’ll complete your paper in no time

Step 1: Write each of the question(or the most likely questions) on a separate single fullscape sheet at home or early morning before the test in the library.

Step 2: During the test ,for first 45 minutes write just one answer.

Step 3: In the next 15 minutes remove the full scapes containing the answers which have been asked in the exams and staple them to the main supplement.

That’s it you are done.All answers word to word from the text book and so huge making teacher wonder at what speed you write your paper..lol

In case of Official supplements, try smuggling some blank supplements directly after every test. They come handy for the next test.

This has failed only on occasions where people have been clumsy.

Eg:situation:

Sumit ,was writing a term test in the Einstein hall.
While removing the written answer fullscapes from the plastic bag…he made such a fuss that even the most ignorantly deaf man could have been attracted to the noise.
So far it has helped a hell lot of us to get out of term work marks unscatched and unharmed.Thanks to sheet stapling.



3)Method 3:

After they found out that people were scoring extremely well in the test, the Somaiya guys came up with a new idea. They made two different set of papers A and B.
Two students were made to sit side by side and both of them had a different set.

But we again ,were not to be left behind….

Every member sat with a guy who had studied for the test .
They then wrote the same set which their neighbour was writing
During the signing of the sheet by the supervisor the real set name was written.
But during submission of the answer sheet and on final bell, a hyper chaotic situation was created in the class…and in all the jumbling we changed our answer sets matching to the set from which we had copied the answers.

Thenga to the super intellectual SET theory.

This is actually a high risk method and increases the chances of getting caught if the examiner checks the questions in the set. One such situation arised with Mohit and me.


I was idiotically copying from the Yogesh’s set A and mohit was sitting behind me again copying the same set.
So in all there were 3 people writing the answers from the same set A on two consequitive benches.Mohit,me and Yogesh.

I was caught by the supervisor when she checked for the different answers in set A and set B.
When she found that I was writing the set A when he was supposed to write set B,she took away his paper.Yogesh was straightaway given a Zero.
This got Mohit in a dilemma…..
So he got on with writing answers from set B
And ultimately Mohits answer sheet consisted of two answers from set A and two answers from set B.lol
SUCH STUPIDITY NEEDS TO BE AVOIDED.Young guns please note!!




SYSTEM TORTURE 2: FINAL EXAMS
Our next stop over: The semester final exam .The most risky of all the situations where you can use the Cheat Codes. This is an extremely HIGH RISK zone where one single mistake may cost you a year or may have you debarred for 3 years.

Besides using the normal “aagewale se chapo “ method which is very actively used by Baxi, me, Sutta ,K.K and most other members in the gang, people like priyank have introduced more riskier methods of beating the system.
In the “ aagewale se chapo” method a lot is dependent on the person sitting in front of you.
But if you are desperately in need of marks and are sure you are gonna flunk in exam then here are some methods which have been very successfully implemented cept for some.they are listed below:

Method 1: Easy solutions
The answers given in the “EASY SOLUTIONS” are precise,.to the point and compact enough to be cut and stuffed into your pant pockets.In case where you are a hopeless ,shameless and useless engineer wear 6 pocket pants and a shirt with a upper pocket consisting of an index to tell you which answer is in what pocket.

Method 2: Nishit method ( highly harmful, extreme caution required)

Carry a cloth pouch cum pencil box with white interiors.
Write answers on the inner side of the pouch.
Act to search for a eraser or sharpener or refill every 10 minutes and read the answer from the pouch.
After every exam give the pouch to your “Kaamwali bai” for thorough washing,
So that you can have it ready for the next exam.

Disaster:
Gaavwala getting caught with his pouch confiscated and facing severe consequences which were not effective enough for him as he still copied regularly in his term tests.





SYSTEM TORTURE 3: PRACTICALS


Though not as torturous as lectures,the practicals may get very boring if you do not have good innovative and creative friends like the bakwaas gang members around.
These creations can be dubbed as the most intellectual ways of passing time in computer practicals and may be used without the fear of getting caught and whats more…the professor may actually think you are working hard on the program.

Some of our highly sophisticated ways of passing 3 hours in any Computer practicals can be given as below:

GAMES WE PLAY:

Game 1:
CD DRIVE RACE:
This involves any number of players and an appropriate number of umpires to keep a watch.
Here on the umpires signal all the players press the CD drive button on their pc.
The member whose CD drive opens full and closes fastest is the WINNER.
HINT( it helps if the umpire is a friend)

Game 2:
BINARY GAME:
Here you have to form binary numbers using the 3 LED lights to the right of your key board.
Use the 3 keys SCROLL LOCK,NUM LOCK and CAPSLOCK on the keyboard to change the lights.
Eg:
If the umpire says number “2”
The binary representation is : 0 1 0
So only the middle light should be on ,the other lights have to be off.. So you just press Caps lock.
One who does so fastest is the WINNER.
(HINT: it helps if you don’t have a K.T in DLDA)

Game 3:
Define a point on the C++ screen , and get the cursor to the exact point as decided by the umpire.
HINT: No amount of cheating can help you in this game. Its purely a talent based game.



PRANKS WE PLAY:

Besides playing games we do fool around with each others computers and do hell lot of prankings.

Some of them are:

1)Shutting neighbours pc, without his knowledge
2)Transfering songs and movies from the folder which has been very generously filled by other Bakwaas gang members who have already done good work in the practical labs.
3)Press lever of partners chair making his seat drop down.
4)Go out on the pretext of going to the loo and come back after having 2 vadapavs ,one dabeli and socializing with other bakwaas members

PRACTICALS WE PERFORM:

How we have survived the practicals till now is still an unsolved mystery to us.
I guess the various unique strategies we use have helped us pass through the 6 semesters without anyone having a hint that we are miserable at programming.
Anyway,our most important strategies include:

1)Copy from neigbour (only if its bhavin or palak)

2)Access divyas ,bhavins or other shit gang members pc using network ip addresses and get the readymade programs from their computers.

3)Search for programs previously done by other studious jerks and rename them with yur name…gives it a personal touch you see.

NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR:
If everything else fails then just do some basic stuff ..like writing all the header files you know like:

#include stdio.h
#include conio.h
#include math.h
(I know only these,since past 3 years)



Next time when the teacher asks for the programs…..speak out this eternally famous dialogue
“MAAM, ACTUALLY LAST TIME I HAD DONE THE PROGRAM.
IT WAS EVEN RUNNING.BUT I CANT FIND IT NOW.
SOME ONE MUST HAVE DELETED IT.
”
Has saved us all of us n number of times.







SYSTEM TORTURE 4: JOURNAL COMPLETION


At Bakwaas we follow strict rules.
One does not complete any journals before correction date is announced.
Only once the correction and submission dates have been announced we start gathering ammunition for the WAR.

We use the following methods dedicatedly

1) Method 1:
Collect all the journal material from the most punctual guys in the class.
Buy 2 bundles of both side ruled and one side ruled journal pages
Arrive at Priyanks place at 11.00 pm
Complete all journals amidst Loud Rock Music with Baxi as the DJ changing songs on priyanks PC.

2) Method 2:
Write in the worst possible handwritting(like mine) so tat the teacher is not able to und wat u hav written.also write using as many lines u can n leavin as much space between the words as u can.this wil help u skip paras n paras n save u hell lot of time.

3) Method 3:
Write any shit and correct the journals your self.
Usually these journals are given to Darinda for correction as he is considered the most accurate forger of the lot..
But after himself getting caught by Prof.Chandan,his popularity has received a kind of blow. None the less he is not the one to give up and has continued doing favours for others long after the episode.

There r many more incidents but is impossible to list them all.....
but to sum it up...BAKWAAS GANG is full of the most mad,item n time pass set of ppl i hav ever met....cheers to the cartoons.................!!!!